Living With Cancer
Psychotherapist Discusses Ways of Coping With the Disease
"It's not who I am," says the retired psychotherapist, who has dealt with uterine and bladder cancers. "I believe life is very short," she notes during a recent interview at her suburban New York home. "There is too much wonder and beauty out there and too much to do."
Meyerhofer, 71, says her experience as a psychotherapist has allowed her to delve into her own psyche, putting her in touch with thoughts and feelings at the deepest level. Although she admits she was never as beautiful as Elizabeth Taylor, has never possessed extreme wealth nor Einstein's brain, she relishes much of what she has gotten in life. Thinking about the good things and times, she says, is extremely helpful in dealing with illness.
Count Your Blessings and Maintain a Positive Attitude
"I was able to establish a practice in a field I loved, marry a man I love very much, see a lot of the world, appreciate beauty and nature. I have never said 'why me?' " People, she adds, must look at themselves and count their blessings and never ask "why me."
People are often so blinded, she notes, seeing little of the beauty around them. They also don't realize the extent of the positive things they can do for themselves and others. "Fortunately, I was able to really see what I could do and do so much early on in my profession."
Although Meyerhofer claims she's no Pollyanna, referring, for example, to her distress concerning today's turbulent world, she maintains an optimistic outlook about herself and her health. She also doesn't bemoan the fact she came down with cancer twice, despite her longterm healthy diet and fitness regimens. "I don't have the strongest body in the world (she also suffers from neuropathy). If I hadn't done all these good things, I might have come down with cancer earlier."
A Strong Support Network is Key
It's vital that cancer patients have a strong support system in place, notes Meyerhofer, who credits husband Dietrich for his "amazing" devotion to her. He accompanied her to all her doctors' appointments, tests, kept vigil at the hospital during her surgeries and at medical facilities during her treatments.
"He kept saying 'we'll do it together, whatever has to be done.' He went with me every single step of the way, and I never felt alone." Reinforcing her husband's support was that from her three sons, their spouses (partners) as well as cherished old and new friends. "It's important to have people who really do care about you," she says.
Support can come from other sources too. Meyerhofer believes loving, caring pets are extremely helpful when their owners are sick. "When I'm not well, my cats (Leila and Luke) don't leave me," she says. "It's as if they know something is wrong with me."
Don't Dwell on Cancer
Meyerhofer underwent a complete hysterectomy for uterine cancer three years ago. She did not require subsequent chemotherapy or radiation. Within a short period of time, she was back to walking three miles of hills daily. "I completely put that cancer out of my mind," she says. In fact, when she later filled out forms in doctors' offices about her medical background, she would forget to list "cancer. The prognosis was good," she says. "There is a 50 percent chance of the (uterine) cancer coming back, but I don't dwell on it."
Meyerhofer recently underwent surgical removal of a cancerous polyp in her bladder. She is currently receiving a weekly BCG treatment over six consecutive weeks that will help the body's immune system kill cancer cells in the area.
Once the series of treatments are completed, she will undergo testing to determine whether she is cancer free. Meyerhofer will then be monitored every three months, likely, she says, for years to come.
Meanwhile, she continues her active life which includes worldwide travels, participating in continuing eduction, book and lecture groups, walking and, of course, lots of interaction with family and friends.
"I'll do anything I have to do to take care of (the cancer)," she says. "I'm not out to leave in a hurry because I'm happy with my life."
Laurel Meyerhofer in Cappadocia, Turkey
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